Monday, August 5, 2013

17w6d- Waiting 18w- news

17w6d- This is the day of nothing. All I did this day last pregnancy was read, worry and cry. I finished the 1st of the Hunger Games books and was onto the second. I hardly moved off the couch, a mix of required bed rest after amnio and the lack of the desire to do anything anyway. The house was falling into shambles around us and neither one of us could care. I must have told work by this point that there was a problem, otherwise why was I on my second unplanned day off? I don't remember making that call or sending the e-mail.

18 weeks- This day started off hard and kept getting harder. It was the first Thursday I didn't celebrate. I liked the changing weeks more with Blue Sunday than with Take Two. Then everything was leading up to a baby, now each week is getting closer to, well to this one. The week of the end. 

I went back to work, my first day at the office since receiving the odds. I seriously was considering staying home the next day so that I could get the results from home. As it turns out, results would be coming this day. 

I only remember a few things from the day clearly. I remember researching t18 almost all morning. Alternately convincing myself that it would be fine: then that it would not be fine. I remember leaving work to grab a snack downstairs with my work friend. I told him about how I had an amino because there were some concerns. I didn't really get into it to much. I bought a bag of smart food popcorn which I never finished. 

I went to the bathroom and took my phone. It rang, I was told "this is a T18 baby". I was in shock and walked back into my office. I closed the door and cried. I told my boss and told her I'd be out for a week most likely. I called Hub. 

He was getting his hair cut. I told him while he was on the chair. I feel bad about that. 

As I drove home, he kept me on the phone. Talking about anything other than the baby. If conversation would turn that way I would cry and he would redirect me. 

I got to the house, hung up and walked to the front door. It opened and I collapsed into his arms. 

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