Friday, June 16, 2017

Month Eight

Month Eight
4/28/2017-5/27/2017


Weight- ? no recent weights I'd guess she's 17-ish pounds

Diapers- Size 2 but needs a 3, finishing out the box!

Milestones:

MG is on the move! She started a crawling approximation! She gets on hands and knees and then pushes her toes into the ground. She can get some forward momentum. But mostly backward momentum!


She also can sit herself up from laying down And on May 17th she did this!
And now she does it all the time ;)

First flight! We went to California and had a blast!
We went on a real plane too


First time in the pool- she didn't like it at first but ended up loving it

We took both kids mini-golfing for the first time. MG figured out how to nurse in her carrier. Here we are when she was done, and one of kinsy because he's cute






Sleep- By the end of this month she was in her own bed until about 2AM, up for feeding, back in her bed in our room until 3:30. Some days I can settle her when she wakes up and get her back into the little bed. Othertimes no. Progress.

Clothes- Between a 3-6 and 6-9 months- can wear one but it's a little small and the other but it's a little big.  

Still sleeping in a Zippity-zip . This has become a necessity. She likes to pinch as she nurses she has done this since she was tiny, but now she's strong. The zippity-zip keeps her hands covered. 

EatingShe is still breastfeeding All. Night. Long. As well as once in the morning, when I get home from work and before bed on work days. I usually add 2 more feedings in the day on days I'm home. 
She also gets a meal of solids once a day- usually a puree. We're also tried egg a few times this month- and plenty of carby foods she can hold onto an gnaw- like bread, sweet potato fries etc. Also, she tried some chicken.

Likes-  
Food!
Standing up
Kins is still her favorite person 
She really likes wind blowing on her (she is SUPER sweaty)
DislikesSleeping alone. Getting stuck in a place she can't stand up/ crawl away from

IllnessNone!

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

I Guess We Never Really Moved On: EBD Five

Lips of an Angel

FIVE. 

My goodness I should have a 5 year old.

That is crushing. I miss my baby. I know I never knew him. I know we didn’t have much time together. I remember so much more of that pregnancy than my other 2. It makes sense in a lot of ways- pregnancy was the only time we had, and it was my first pregnancy. 

Now having two kids, I can see the way even kids with the same mom and dad, born into about the same situation can vary so much. MG is easy, laid back and just a ray of happiness. Kinsy is strong-willed, sensitive and a BIG personality. I adore them both though they are completely different. I'll never really glimpse at what I'm missing with Blue Sunday.

And never is forever- so it will hurt forever.

This is what people in my real life don't get. I know the feelings of some- that I should move on, that I should seek help, that I keep building up the mountain that should now be eroded to a molehill. I have sought help and I had two therapists tell me I am totally normal and appropriately dealing. They agree- it will always hurt, I am in the majority of loss moms who feel jealous, angry and sad when others don't and can't understand this grief.

Day to day, I'm OK. I treasure my kids, and I probably love them a little harder for what brought me here. But every year, as the days pass and we come to late May- I think "in another place and time, where my eggs weren't masquerading as old ladies way before their time- would this have been my first baby's birthday? What would I have been feeling 5 years ago today? Right now?" And worse in some ways "What am I missing today?" The first party with real friends? A best friend for myself in the mom of some other like-age little kid? A thousand laughs, smiles and tears and a thousand thousand to come. 

My girl’s in the next room, 
sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
Hinder, Lips of an Angel

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Month Seven


Month Seven
3/28/2017-4/28/2017

Weight- ? no recent weights I'd guess she is in the high 16 or low 17 pounds 

Diapers- Size 2 

Milestones:

Sitting up all on her own!

4/16 Easter

Eating foods! (carrots, prunes, pumpkin, squash, avocado.. also kinsy fed her cake...)
Cake pop.. and MG wanting more 4/19
mmmm Carrots 4/28


First night without Mama :( (I was in London for 2 nights)
Bottle for bedtime 4/7

I made A LOT of milk while traveling 4/7

Sleep- By the end of this month she was in her own bed until about 1AM, up for feeding, back in her bed in our room until 3:30 and then in bed with me. Progress. She is taking more regular naps now too. Yay!

Clothes- 3-6 months,  now sleeping in a Zippity-zip because she was waking up so hot in the Merlin Sleepsuit! (probably from the bed sharing)
4/27


EatingShe started getting solids this month. We gave her banana cut into sticks as her first food (since the baby cereal was a fail, as was avocado). She liked it but Kins was gagging at the site of the mushy food. Which is really funny since earlier the day that happened he HAD HIS HANDS IN THE TOILET looking for the poop he had flushed. She is willing to eat purees from a spoon now. Yay. Also Kinsy gave her cake. She's now had cake twice. oh boy. 

Likes-  Her big Brother!
4/16


Hub and I - we get huge bright smiles when she sees us

DislikesSleeping alone. Being put down.


IllnessNone!

Monday, April 10, 2017

Guess Who’s Back #microblogging Monday

Back again? Me! I’m home from London and mostly back to normal time wise. It is very confusing to be gone so far away for such a short time. 5 hours lost on Tuesday meant that I left home at 5:30am and got to the hotel at 10pm, but it ‘only’ felt like 5 in the evening. I got up the next morning at 6:30 local time.. which was 1:30am at home! I was presenting to a small room (about 25 people at 11am (6). Full day of meeting, brief foray to the Westminster Bridge/ Palace/ London eye (didn’t go on)  smoozy dinner and drinks then bed. Got up the next day at 7:30am, gave a presentation to over 100 people. Full day meeting and then left for the airport. Got on the plane at 8pm (after an airport beer) and landed at 10:10 pm home time. Sooooooo confusing! I did read two books on the planes. That was nice. Also, business class is the way to full- champagne when boarding and then wine with dinner!

I missed the kiddos so, so much. The first morning I was a little panicky I texted hum 3 times before 6am his time. All was well, though.

Kinsy said to me yesterday “Mama, I missed you when you were at airport. I wish you came with me” (aka he wishes I brought him with me). Apparently because he was at the airport for drop off and pick up, he thought I was just at the airport for 3 days. My poor bear, so confused.



Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Month Six


Month Six
2/28/2017-3/27/2017

Weight- 16 pounds, 1 ounce

Diapers- Size 2 

Milestones:

First St. Patrick's Day- Are they the cutest??


Sitting all by her self! (propped on her own thighs)



Found her feet!


Sleep- She's in her own bed until about 1AM then with me. Ugh. 

Clothes- 3-6 months, still sleeping in her sleep suit (like a dancer!)




Eating- She is only getting BM, but we are going to introduce solids in the next few days!

Likes-  Her Pacifier, she's big into it this month

Dislikes- Sleeping alone. Being put down.

Illness- Her cold from last month cleared up and she's been healthy ever since.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Buzz Buzz- Microblogging Monday

We are busy, busy bees.  I feel like there is no time to take a breath, never mind blog. Baby MG is sitting up (she can't get there on her own, but we can set her down and she stays (good girl, LOL). 

Kinsy is potty trained!!! He is still having a few accidents, but by and large he's done with daytime diapers. Took just a few days once we actually potty trained him.

We have something to do EVERY weekend day this month- bridal showers, Easter celebrations, dinner with friends and a quilting class for me! (this past weekend we had a professional family photoshoot and dinner with friends- one Easter celebration was canceled due to weather and moved to next weekend.)

Additionally, I leave for a work trip to London tomorrow. I'm only gone for a few days but I am really nervous leaving the kids (mostly MG) I haven't been away from her overnight, and haven't been away from kinsy overnight since I gave birth. I don’t like the idea of being 7 hours away by plane. 

Regardless, I AM looking forward to some time alone on the plane. I have two books to bring with me, some work to do in the kids' baby books. And I know, as with everything these days, the time will fly by.

Happy New Year!! Play Ball!




Buzzing off now! More to do, as always. 



Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Goals: Quarterly Update #1

Quarterly Update #1

1) Take some time off from family planning and enjoy the family I’ve built.
Enjoy the wonderful kids (and hub!) I have.
More or less. I have not really re-started my cycle (I had it once, when I had the stomach virus, but not since). I have mentioned trying again, again once or twice. Hub eventually suggested seeing a couples therapist.. so we’re pretty far apart in what we want additional kid wise:/

2) Read 12 books. Any books. Enjoy them.
I’ve read 2 and am starting a third:
The Whistler
Apprentice in Death
Don't You Cry

3) Run the June 5k in under 28 minutes. Still on here from 2 years ago 3 years ago.
I HAVE been running fairly consistently, with Hub still in school I can really only run Thurs-Sun, and I’m not really in the shape to run 4 days in a row. I aim for 3 runs in 7 days, but have been getting 3 runs in 8. Not too bad. I should be on week 11 of a 10K app, so this is in reach

4) Pay down 30,000 in debt and keep up with other money goals (college savings, retirement etc)- we’re doing Dave Ramsey. Working successfully so far.
Yes! I got a nice bonus and we’ve been really good with budgeting so we’re more than ½ way to goal J

5) Re-do the kitchen- at long last.
I REALLY hope this is this year, but I am waiting for a good price to sell some stock. All depends on the market.
We decided not to sell stock at the most recent opportunity. Will reassess next time. We don’t want to make the decision to sell and regret it. Clearly the kitchen is work-able- we’ve been in our home for 6 years.     
     
6) A few health goals: Lose 10 pounds, start yoga, keep up with vitamins, cut back on caffeine (down two 2 cups of tea and one other caffeinated item per day).
Big fail. I guess this needs to be my focus.
I did remember my vitamins though!


7) Become involved in my community. How? TBD. 
This is still a question mark.. thinking about it though

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Month Five


Month Five
1/28/2017-2/27/2017

1.28.2017


3.2.2017

Diapers- Size 2, comfortably. 

Milestones- Rolling both ways when she feels like it. She is not nearly as physical as kinsy-bear was. He was always wanting to be on the move. She is content to hang out where we put her. Though she does flap and wiggle enough to move herself off her blanket, or turn to look in the other direction. 

First Valentines day- so cute! 


First sick visit :( (see below)

Sleep- Still sleeping with me after the stomach bug scare of 2017. BUT I've been putting her to bed (in her crib!), upstairs, when I put Kinsy down. Previously I was letting her sleep in her rock-n-play from 8ish until my bedtime. She tends to wake up at about midnight- which is annoying since that is when night owl mama just turns in. Then she comes into my room in my bed. I'm going to start working to get her back asleep before I lay down and then putting her in the co-sleeper. Less sleep for me but more, safer sleep for her.  

Clothes- 0-3 Months are mostly over, but there are a few things she still wears; 3-6 months still big she sleeps in her Magic Merlin sleep suit


Eating- Same as last month: She still is on BM almost exclusively. She has a once-in-a-blue-moon formula bottle if we're out at night (hockey games, dinner with friends). I've nursed in public, but she doesn't like being under a blanket and I am large chested anyway. There are places I will nurse- dimly lit restaurants, the park and places I won't- bright, crowded hockey games. 

Likes- Yelling!

Sitting up (propped)

Biting stuff

Standing in this thing

Dislikes- Sleeping alone. Her 4 month shots.

Illness- She got a bad cold this month- we ended up taking her into the doctor.  Her O2 was a little low, but we were OK just to watch her. She gained 9oz in 2 weeks- no issue eating!

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Discombobulated- microblog

Life is chaos right now. I’m drowning. I will never complain about having two kids. They are amazing and I could not be more grateful for them. But I am so, so tired. Hub has three classes this semester mon-wed nights. There are usually hockey games Friday and/or Saturday night. Then factor in a social visit a week and shopping- well we’re already out of time and we haven’t cleaned, slept or factored in appointments and self care. So my eyebrows are bushy, my laundry isn’t done and the house is cluttered.
I feel emotionally overwhelmed, but I think it is more related to some baby blues/ previously existing anxiety than anything serious. I have always been an anxious person, but I have found myself having some irrational fears. I am mostly ok, and am waiting it out a few more weeks. I really don’t want to go on medication and hurt milk supply/ waning fertility. We may try one more, one more time. We may just not prevent and see what happens.


My kids love each other, the struggle for Baby G was so, so worth it.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.


Saturday, January 28, 2017

Month Four

Four Months
12/28/2016-1/27/2017
1.5.2017
1.27.2017

Weight- 14lbs 9oz From the pics you can see she got chunky this month! So much cheek!


Nicknames- Baby G, Little G, MG

Diapers- Size 2, comfortably. Of note, we actually switched to huggies over pampers. With Kinsy we tried them and they leaked, and another boy mom friend had the same situation. They gave us their leftover huggies to try with MG- and they work! And are cheaper! Win!!

Milestones- I went back to work 1/3, so MG started going to Nana and Papa's for babysitting Mon, Tues and Thursdays. I usually go over there Wednesdays as well, but we're all over there together. She is fine with it, but eats less than I would have thought she would, and she won't nap. Odd.  

First fancy dinner! We spent NYE with friends from out of town, we went into the city and went to a nice, harborside restaurant. She was a wonderful child, as always. 

Rolled over for the first time- on her transfer-versary!! I even got it on film :) (1/6) 


1.6 2016/ 1.6.2017


Really started watching, as kinsy would call them, her peoples. She tracks us around the room and smiles at us. Adorable. Whenever she does this kinsy says "She files at us" "sm" is not a sound my 3 year old can make so, so cute. 
We don’t give him the iPad very often, but I think it’s cute that when we do, he wants to be near MG

Sleep- MG is slipping on her awesome-ness in the sleep department. We had a stomach bug whip through the house and I was afraid she would get it and choke in her sleep. So I had her sleep with me.. and now it's been impossible to get her out of my bed. But she only wakes up twice in the night, but she does like to side nurse All. Night. Long. ugh

Clothes- 0-3 Months, snugly; 3-6 months roomily She sleeps in her Magic Merlin sleep suit


Eating- She still is on BM almost exclusively. She has a once-in-a-blue-moon formula bottle if we're out at night (hockey games, dinner with friends). I've nursed in public, but she doesn't like being under a blanket and I am large chested anyway. There are places I will nurse- dimly lit restaurants, the park and places I won't- bright, crowded hockey games. 

Likes- Kinsy mostly. Screaming - not sadly, just loudly. Looking at her mobile. 

Dislikes- Bath, she decided she hates her bath. Annoying. Sleeping alone. 

Illness- None, knock on wood!


Monday, January 9, 2017

Take Two is THREE

Where does the time go??



He’s Three

Wowzer. I cannot believe my baby boy is 3. Time slips quickly away. Thought I would give a three year update on my little guy :) (This is a modification of the baby ones I use for first months updates)

Nicknames- He calls himself Kinsy Bear sometimes. Haha. So Kinsy, Kins, and Kinsy Bear but also just his name. There isn’t really a nickname for it.

Weight- 34 pounds, 36.25 inches. This apparently makes him obese. We were told to expect him to gain some height in the next 3 months or so.. and to lay off the crackers. Oops (I swear he looks FINE)



Diapers- yes. Ugh. We’ve attempted to excite him about the potty, but he hasn’t taken to it at all. At first he cried when he suggest it and even said that he ‘loves” his diapers. Now were making more progress- but accidents are frequent. We are bribing him with a promise of a Lego fire station when he is diaper free. 

Milestones-   He's had an AMAZING language explosion. At 2 years he was sitting at about 50 words. This was low normal. Now he says amazing, complex things. "Look at all my vehicles, mama. They are driving down the road to work". 

He graduated from EI on his 3rd birthday, but honestly he didn't "need" it anymore anyway. 

He went on his first plane ride in April 



He became a big brother in September

He can jump, run, and climb. He is a wonderful little human

Sleep- He is a great sleeper. He usually naps for 2-3 hours in the afternoon starting between 1 and 2. Lucky me. He generally goes to be between 7-8:30 depending on if he napped in the day. He stays in his room until we get him in the morning. He is generally asleep until sometime between 6-7:30. He knows he can't get out of bed until the sun comes up. We get him between 7:30 and 8:30. He picks a toy to bring to bed with him the night before and plays with that in the morning. 

We actually had this blow up on us the day before he turned 3 he got a stomach virus and threw up in bed... but didn't come and get us :( We had been telling him that if he is sick or scared to come into mom and dad's room and get us..  but I guess he didn't understand. 

Clothes- a mix of 2T and 3T

Eating- He used to be a lot better about eating but now he has gotten picky. He mostly just likes breakfast. Cereal, cereal bars, .eggs, bacon, pancakes, bananas, apples. He also likes pizza (who doesn't?), tacos, and chicken. He likes rice and LOVES milk. 

Likes- Cars/trucks/ambulances/helicopters. His castle, baseball and hockey games. 

Dislikes- Potty, getting his hair washed

Illness- a stomach bug twice, a cold and 2 ear infections. Can't complain


Tuesday, January 3, 2017

2017 Goals:

I liked keeping track of my goals in past years, so I’m doing it again. I HOPE to update quarterly. I didn’t manage this last year :/

1) Take some time off from family planning and enjoy the family I’ve built.
Enjoy the wonderful kids (and hub!) I have.

2) Read 12 books. Any books. Enjoy them.

3) Run the June 5k in under 28 minutes. Still on here from 2 years ago 3 years ago.

4) Pay down 30,000 in debt and keep up with other money goals (college savings, retirement etc)- we’re doing Dave Ramsey. Working successfully so far.

5) Re-do the kitchen- at long last.
I REALLY hope this is this year, but I am waiting for a good price to sell some stock. All depends on the market.
         
6) A few health goals: Lose 10 pounds, start yoga, keep up with vitamins, cut back on caffeine (down two 2 cups of tea and one other caffeinated item per day).


7) Become involved in my community. How? TBD. 

Monday, January 2, 2017

Goals 2016 wrap-up

I liked keeping track of my goals in past years, so I’m doing it again- but now before I wrap up my goals from 2016 (which I never updated… oops)

1)    Resolve: Hub and I have decided that at the end of this year we want to have created all the embryos we're going to create (including donor). We can do FETs into 2017, but we want off this merry-go-round. So we may close the door with one at least semi-bio kid (we may pursue adoption after a family building break)
a.     This should be a resounding done! MG is here and she is wonderful. So wonderful I want another. I KNOW… bad IF lady. I told hub we'll talk about it later.

2) Read 12 books. I have 11 on my list and one wildcard. Any suggestions? I read a wide variety, but am not counting pulp fiction type books (I like J.D.Robb and teen lit as a guilty pleasure but am not counting them)

a.     Hmmm I’m not sure what to call this one. As it turns out I don’t like reading from lists. I read the following:
Where’d you go Bernadette * (fantastic)
Me Before You * (it was good but I knew how it would end from the get-go)
Me After You (Better than its prequel Me Before You)
The 5th Wave -The 5th Wave trilogy #(I really liked this)
The Infinite Sea -The 5th Wave trilogy #(this too)
The Last Star -The 5th Wave trilogy #(not so much)
Grey Mountain (Not the best, but entertaining)
The Armies (interesting, I like Spanish literature)
And a bunch of Chick lit and crime fiction junk. I was pregnant and sick LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

*On the list
#Strictly speaking this is teen lit and I said I wouldn’t include it.. oops

3) Run the June 5k in under 28 minutes. Still on here from 2 years ago. oops (though I was pregnant and it was 90+ out that day. Last year I was just a little too slow)
          a. Pregnant again- this time 20-ish weeks! I think I did it in 38 minutes. Not terrible

4) Pay down my mortgage (not off obviously aiming for about 10,000 extra dollars)
          a. I paid about 28,000 in debt. Go me!

5)Re-do the kitchen- at long last
          a. Nope. This year.. may be