Monday, April 15, 2019

now the eyes of my eyes are opened

Liberty will be6 MONTHS old in a few days. I promise most of this was written a long time ago! I wanted to write this birth story before it starts to soften around the edges and blur out. 

38 Weeks - 41 Weeks
Consistent contractions, discomfort but no progression. I was deeply uncomfortable and just ready to meet Liberty. My last day in the office was September 27th. I got things ready at home very slowly seeing that I was enormous and cranky. It took me until 10/9 (day after U/S due date and day before midwife due date) to find the homecoming outfit, which I used for each of the kids.




Starting at 40 weeks I had to have an NST every 3-4 days. I started the appointments on Wednesday the 10th (due date). There was also an ultrasound that day, the male MFM I like was on and said everything looked great. When the NST went well also, we scheduled another NST for Friday the 12th (2 days later). My midwife didn't want me to have to come in on the weekend, which would have meant NST in L&D and not in the office (so it would take forever!).



I brought hub with me to the Friday appointment in fear/hope I would actually be in labor or be sent for an induction. I joked about mainlining some caffeine so my BP would be high and I would force an induction. (I didn't do that!). I wanted to go to a friend's baby shower on Sunday, so I didn't mention an induction (also a weekend delivery didn't seem ideal). I spent the weekend NOT in labor, walking around, bouncing on a ball and hoping the irregular contractions would start to become regular and real. No dice. I did get to the baby shower and loved watching everyone's face when they asked me when I was due and I got to reply "last week".

October 16th

Tuesday at 40+6 was my next NST and ultrasound.  I wanted to treat that morning as our "last day as a family of 4" and take a bunch of pictures. Instead, Hub and I got into a giant fight about nothing because I was stressed and hormonal.. and because he was wrong. Yeah... say that. We ended up leaving without taking pictures, I cried in the car and we turned around and took them. I was SO SURE I was in early labor (even though there were no differences in the contractions I was having or the way I was feeling generally. But hell, I was 41+1 (by first ultrasound) with my THIRD. So done.


41 weeks 1 day

Last family of 4 pictur

Anyway, I was super late for my ultrasound and they were like "I don't think we can fit you in" and I was like "I have NEVER been seen here within 30 minutes after my scheduled appointment time and I am NOT 30 minutes late." They fit me in. I honestly don't think I would have been seen any earlier even if I was there when I was supposed to be. Happily, everything looked great to the ultrasound tech (and to me). They told me they were going to get the doc, but she never came. It was supposed to be... Next Tuesday. I swear she just won't see me. They said she "looked at the scan" and everything was "fine". Whatever. Then I went down for the NST, which was also fine. My midwife wanted me to come back the following day or the day after for induction. My ultrasounds had always had me due 10/8 so I was getting to be REALLY late. I had really wanted to go into labor on my own, so I went with Thursday. I was booked in for 7am Thursday the 18th!

I was super mad that I was still not having a baby and booked an appointment to get my hair cut and highlighted. The stylists and receptionists and basically everyone asked me when I was due. More laughter from me when I got to say "I'm 9 days late". They looked at me like I was a bomb. 

I took Wednesday off (yes I worked TWO JOBS [from home] until well past my due date. And yes, I get maternity leave. I'm just a glutton for punishment). I tried to relax, but it was not so easy! My in-laws offered to keep the kids overnight, but I wanted them home for one more night of just the 4 of us. They were nice enough to come over super early in the morning: 5:30am.


Night before induction!


It was tough to sleep, so I was tired when we got up at about 5:15 to get ready to head to the hospital. I showered and was just making tea when the phone rang- induction was off due too many women already in L&D! I was told to walk around and call back in a few hours. UGH

My in-laws were already over when we got the call and so hung out with the kids. Hub and I tried to watch a TV show. I bounced on a ball. Nothing happened. I called the midwife a few hours later and she said go walk around and come in if anything happened. Otherwise, come in in a few hours. There was a strong smell in the house, hub was wrapping up a project in the basement- and I wanted to leave. It was too cold to walk outside, and Kins had forgotten his backpack. We used that as an excuse to go to my in-laws and then go to the indoor mall by their house to walk. We walked for about 2 hours, until lunch time. I bought myself some presents at Sephora and Kins and hub hung out at the Lego store. We decided to be in the car by noon, heading to the neighborhood our hospital was in. We said bye to the kids (and my in-laws of course) and headed in!

I tried calling from the car, but couldn't get through (annoying). I tried calling the midwife directly, but she was delivering. We decided to have a quiet lunch together and then call. We went to the Green Briar and I had BBQ Chicken Tacos, they were worth the discomfort later in labor! We got back in the car for the drive across the street we could have walked- even almost 42 weeks pregnant! but we wanted the car in a longer term lot.


I called the L&D floor and they said to come on in! I checked in with registration which took FOREVER. In the time I was sitting the contractions poofed. OF COURSE. I was terrified I would be sent home. We got up to L&D around 3pm and settled into our room (NOT the room from when I delivered MG and Kins sadly) . They did vitals and signing of documents and other boring stuff. I texted my photographer letting her know I was getting checked out.  me being me, I also texted my mom. My colleague’s sister works as an L&D nurse and she was on so she came in and helped set me up. Unfortunately she had a split shift and would be leaving not long after I came in and coming back around 2am.  Her replacement for the night was Kate- who delivered Kins! That felt like good news.

Better news- I could stay! It was finally baby time!






I got changed into my gown (but not before snapping this pic!) And checked dilation. I was just at a 2 as I had been for over a week.


They needed to do an hour of monitoring and then they could start Pitocin. Mom and I had a few back and forth texts and calls about when she should leave work. I told her when I started the drugs we could figure it out. Hub and I played cards. They started the Pitocin around 4. I was contracting without being able to feel them for about 2 hours. I took this picture when I had my first noticeable contraction.  6pm!




My mom stayed at work until she was done at 7, then she and my dad headed right over. I was totally fine waiting for them and hub and I were chatting with Shirley (photog)- and explaining her presence to the docs and nurses as they came through. I think I mentioned before but will again- mine was the first photographed birth at my hospital. I think everyone thought I was a little nuts but no one said so.

I got out of bed and onto a ball just 20 minutes or so after starting the Pitocin. I sat on a ball and stood and swayed intermittently. Not so much in discomfort but in the hopes of getting things moving. I was attached to an IV pole, which is super annoying so I didn’t really walk around. At least I was GBS negative so my mouth didn’t taste horribly like with MG.


8pm came and the Red Sox- Astros playoff game started. Sox were up 3-1 in the series, so if they won, they were going to the World Series. We watched intently. ‘We’ being everyone else (including the nurses) and me up until may be the 4th inning (Sox we up 1-0 starting in the third). Then contractions got real really quickly. That was the pattern with me. Induction, fine fine fine fine, ouchie, HOLY GOD I’M GOING TO DIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE


I was sort of joking around and then went silent when I had a contraction. Then I would resume talking as if I hadn’t just stopped for 1-1.5 minutes. It must be odd to watch labor. It was starting to be truly painful when I got the overwhelming urge to throw up. I had previously told hub if I said I needed to vomit he had to get the epi for me. No repeat of Kins thank you very much. So I said “I’m going to puke” and hub was like “Get the nurse” I was like “but first a bucket!”. I didn’t actually throw up. I don’t know how I managed that. The wait for the epi was loooonnnnggggg while I was waiting there was a woman (no joke) mooing in the room next to me. It's irrational now but at the time I was like “Bitch, please. I am having contractions of death and I’m nice and quiet. Get the epi or STFU”. Spoiler alert- she was still mooing when I delivered AND WHEN I LEFT THE FLOOR! (~7 hours of mooing)


So I waited for an epi for about 40 minutes. It was tough, but I knew relief was coming. Contractions were every 2.5-3 minutes and lasting 1-1.5 minutes. The nurse offered to turn the Pitocin down but I wanted baby OUT so I refused. A little natural labor never hurt anyone (said no one ever. It hurts). Finally the anesthesiologist came- a senior doc and a med student. They were all business, nothing like Doctor Crush sadly. My family and Shirley were kicked out but Kate the nurse was amazing and set me up with a table and pillow and held my hand. I was told to let them know when a contraction was starting so that they could pause their work. The med student was told to talk through the entire procedure (they did ask if I was ok with him doing the procedure and talking through it- I am interested in medicine in general so I told them to go for it). After a few minutes of stopping frequently for fairly intense contractions we turned down the Pitocin. It took a very long time to actually get the epi in. At one point I jumped a little and they were like “Contraction?” and I was like “no, I can hear yelling down the hall- someone got a 3 run homerun but I don’t know who it was!” Lots of laughter.

Around 10:40pm, after about 30 minutes the epi was in and I was SO HAPPY! He did an EXCELLENT job. I was able to move my legs and feel when contractions stopped and started but I wasn’t in pain (I couldn’t feel ANYTHING with kins). I didn’t get a bad taste in my mouth (that happened with MG). I got checked and was a 6. I was a little disappointed, thinking I was further along. They asked if they could break my water, and I said sure. The amount of fluid was astounding. Hub said it basically exploded and the nurse jumped back. I guess that's why I was so large! My belly looked so crazy! as usual he was way on my left side and moving up a storm. 

They called my family back in and I drank a tea (Labor runs on Dunkin’!) 


Shirley Anne Photography

The 3 run homerun was the Red Sox (yay!) and the Astros scored one so it was 4-1 by the time everyone was back in the room. It was mid-8th and I was totally relaxed. We watched the end of the game and celebrated when the Sox won their way into the World Series.


Red Sox Win! Shirley Anne Photography

Once that was over, my mom asked if we would be having a baby on 10-18. Apparently there was a TV show that said 10-18 was a lucky day to have a baby (but then it actually wasn't because the child born on that day was drafted into Vietnam.. but I digress).  It was about 11:45pm and I told her that though I labor quickly, that was fast even for me. 

I was having a fine time, feeling good. Nurse Kate is AWESOME and was like.. I think I'm going to check you and when everyone but hub left she was like "you need a catheter. Your bladder is so full" They did the catheter and hub laughed there was SO MUCH in there. (Theme of the labor too much fluid!)It was more than a single bedpan. That's what I get for drinking a large tea when I wasn't supposed to be having anything AND was on a lot of fluids. 




As hub was laughing and urine was draining and nurse was changing to the second bedpan baby just slipped right into position. It was like he was going down a slide. I felt and saw him just slip from being left and high to center and low, low, low, low (applebottom jeans, boots with the furrr). Nurse Kate literally said "woah, let me check you". And she did and..

It was baby time! It was not quite 1am, barely 2 hours from the completion of the epi and being checked at a 6! I guess they knew I labor fast since the whole team came in before a single push. The doctors on call came in (a resident and attending), a nurse for the baby, my mom and Shirley in addition to nurse Kate, hub and me. 

I started pushing at 1:16am and baby Cameron was born at 1:19am! 2 contractions! When I pushed there was even more fluid apparently. Which makes my size make sense as he was a very normal 7 pounds 14 ounces. I just KNEW he would be a boy :)



Cameron is perfect and awesome and adorable. We are overjoyed with our family:


Shirley Anne Photography
Shirley Anne Photography



If you love birth pictures (as I do!) you should follow Shirley Anne photo on instagram AND you should let me know if you want to see my birth photos- I have them password protected on a blog for birth picture lovers. (no "money shot" nothing super bloody or otherwise graphic. lots of boobs mostly)

I always forget that I had a little complication after birth where I was still bleeding after a few hours and it turned out my uterus wasn't contracting properly. They had to reach in and remove a clot. Luckily the nurses realized something seemed off and took care of it. It HURT though. The epi was long worn off I just about crushed one nurse's hand. I then had to stay in L&D even longer. I didn't get to the postpartum floor until almost 5am. We then took a family nap until 8. 

The kids loved their little brother from the start- but they are both asking about the "next baby". Hub is not even a little amused. We're a family of 5 and are planning to hold that line. 
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any–lifted from the no
of all nothing–human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
e.e. cummings
1894-1962