Acupuncture- Comfortably Numb

** I want to apologize in advance if the formatting is off, some of this I wrote exclusively for here and some if it I copied and pasted from a post I made about acupuncture.  It's tough to combine the two.

I went to acupuncture for the first time last night (Thursday). The appointment was an hour and a half. About 30 minutes of it was a “medical” review. I say “medical” and not medical because some of it was a little… different. Like checking my pulse for a long time and not looking just for BPM but for strength and rhythm and looking at my tongue in detail. I was very glad I brushed first. That whole dead baby thing had to be discussed in some length. After the awful morning I had over it, I didn’t think I was going to be able to keep it together. Surprisingly, I was okay. I had to fill out a detailed questionnaire where I could detail some of the loss details: the timing, the reason, the emotional and physical fallout. He had some questions, nothing awful or prying: medications, surgical information and things like that. I could tell from his face when he read about Blue Sunday, he wears his heart on his sleeve and was visibly shaken. (That was a poor turn of phrase, right?  I just said I could tell so he was obviously VISIBLY shaken). Then he asked if I “took medication or anything after”, so I ended up telling him I terminated and had surgery.  

Anyway, I got that same perverse feeling of… I don’t know what to call it… non-misery (?) when I saw him realize what really happened, and how sad he was for me. I don’t know why I feel that way, that non-misery I feel when watching people deal with it.  I think because of that asshole on the internet who said that my loss wasn’t a real loss because I chose to end Blue Sunday’s life. I like when people acknowledge that I lost my child, too. Poor Blue Sunday.

Anyway, He asked all about my cycle, sleeping habits, general feeling (cold, tired social-ness etc). When we got to the actual acupuncture, he spent some time explaining the needles and the ideas behind the placement of them. He asked where I was in my cycle (Day 4) and worked on stimulating my lining and egg production. He told me if any needle was bothering me that I should tell him and he'd move it. He put one in each ear, one in my forehead (which sounds wore than it was) Two in the sides of my neck (that freaked me bit), 4 over my uterus, 2 in my wrists, a few in my feet and knees. They hardly hurt at all, since I couldn't see my legs I don't really know how many were there. He instructed me on some breathing and left me alone for 40 minutes or so, checking in on me once or twice.

          After he removed them, he put stickers with tiny ball bearings in them in the top part of my ear to push on when I feel stressed. One has since fallen off, but I did use them and they did seem to help. I’m sure some of it was the entering of saying “I’m over whelmed and need to step back and breathe, but if it takes a little ball on my ear to do that, I’ll try it!”

            I felt.. lighter after the treatment. And I was much happier and more energetic for several days after. I will say though that the fall back to my baseline (which came yesterday) was HARD. For the first time in months I had a wailing cry over poor Blue Sunday and how he never had a chance yadah yadah yadah. It had been a long while since I did that.

         My acupuncturist recommended twice a week for stress relief, but I just can’t afford it time or finance wise. I’m going to go once a week and he recommended yoga, walking and meditation at least one day a week. He is giving my some stretches and supplements at my appointment next week to hopefully ward off the spotting I’ve had  and relax me further. 

I am Comfortably Numb
O.K.
Just a little pin prick
There'll be no more (Yelling)
But you may feel a little sick
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working, good
Pink Floyd, Comfortably Numb