Which is Yes

Today, I saw the heartbeat of another life flickering inside of me.

It was an immensely emotional moment. Hub was not allowed back with me (boo) and the screen was turned away from me. I was terrified and discombobulated all morning. Walking into the ultrasound room I was told to go to the room on the right, and walked to left. She had to correct me by pointing.. ouch.

Anyway, it seemed to take her forever to load the dildo cam and get it inserted. After a minute in there she said "I see a heartbeat" and I just started crying. After a moment she showed me the screen- a little blob with a flicker taking up most of it. Totally exciting, though mostly indistinguishable.

I am measuring right on time. They like to see the heartbeat at 120 or more and baby's is 141. So we're looking good so far!

More tomorrow- I slept very poorly last night and am really not coherent. 




i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
e.e.Cummings, i thank You God for most this amazing