Limbo

*This post was written a week ago, I just hadn't posted yet.

I'm nowhere.

Limbo.

Negative beta at 14DPO, but no sign of my next cycle starting.

It's giving me too much time to think. Thinking isn't getting me anywhere. I am trying not to plan on this (next) cycle failing. If it does, I think we're out of IUI. (I go in tomorrow and hopefully I can convince them that I should do a third IUI- which would me two more tries rather than one).

Otherwise, it's on to IVF.

I still have mixed feelings on this. Hub and I know we'll do the genetic screening on any embryos. He broached the topic of selecting a female if all other things are equal. He would like a daughter and knows that I will be sad if I never have a girl. But, if I chose, I think I would choose another boy. I would love bub to have a close relationship with his sibling- and this is more likely (in my experience) with a same-sex sibling. That leaves us presumably, not sex-selecting- which is fine with both of us- but has sparked an interesting conversation.

This is hopefully an unnecessary discussion, but that's not how I'm feeling. Hub was shocked the IUI failed. I was not. I don't know what that says about me, my mental health or the odds of this working.