Six Years Gone- Watershed Wednesdays

Somehow it has been 6 years since the last day Blue Sunday and I were together.

Six. Years.

There was a time I didn't think I would survive 6 days, or 6 minutes for that matter. I very clearly remember laying in bed right after the diagnosis wishing time would pass in a literal flash. That I could somehow find myself some time ahead, where the pain wouldn't be so raw.

Here I am, not a flash (though sometimes it feels that way!). "Time heals all wounds" was clearly coined by an observer and not the wounded. Time has healed over the worst of the wound but the damage is deep. No one can see it but me I think.

Hub did mention Blue Sunday, in the obtuse way he does. I appreciated that. There is nothing worse than being the only one who remembers. Overall though, Blue Sunday's time, from Boxing day through the 4th of January passed with only me silently marking the days.

The trend of Watershed Wednesdays occurring on the first Wednesday of January every even year continued:

1/4/12- Termination day
1/8/14- Kin's was born!
1/6/16- MG was transfered
1/4/18- We almost lost our dog

It sounds less dramatic, but there were several hours where I thought we wold be putting down my dog Puck on Wednesday 1/4. She is a 13 year old lab who very suddenly declined. We brought her to the emergency vet and they found a tumor in her abdomen. We thought it was widespread cancer. Turns out she has Addison's disease which was causing her rapid weightloss and lethargy. We think the mass is benign but can't confirm until she is stable on her new medication.

Hub feels like we dodged a bullet. I feel like the universe decided that date has enough negatives already attached to it and we were given a break. Who knows- may be Blue Sunday played a role in getting this to turn out well for us. I like to think of him as a little guardian for our family.

Either way- here's to you my lost friend. Where ever you are, I hope it is comfortable and safe. You'll always be my first baby. And I'll always be your mom. I did my best for you, and I always will.

Our Christmas card this year had all three of my kids in it (in their own way):

The Ornament right above MG's is in honor of Blue Sunday. You can't see here but there are little blue birds on the arms of a woman looking up at the sky.