I've got friends in low places

3/2/12
I've Got Friends in Low Places.. and it is a Wonderful Thing

I have a friend from an internet site unrelated to my loss. As the spouse of a National Guard solider, I sometimes have to break my adamant refusal to ever define myself by someone else.  It is difficult to navigate the culture of the military without eventually joining a mil spouse group. When hub first joined and was on his way to basic my days were dark (comparatively easy given what was coming but I didn't know better at the time). I found a wonderful chat site full of knowledgeable, caring and supportive women. We had our moments, but were like a family. It is on that site that I met my friend- Mrs. Wonderful (no sarcasm).

Mrs. Wonderful had the WORST pregnancy I had ever heard of, her hub was far away and out of contact, intractable nausea/vomiting, heavy bleeding for weeks. Finally, things started going well for her, she told people in real life that she was expecting-- then her water broke. Her and her precious baby held on for 7 days, but on the day she reached 20 weeks her baby passed.

At the time, I was 8 weeks or so less pregnant than she was. I cried for her and said a little prayer that I wouldn't follow in her pPROM footsteps. I counted up the ways our pregnancies were dissimilar. When I got my devastating diagnosis I told my chat board ladies. They surrounded me with love. A gift card to a spa, a (living) plant, notes on-line of all kinds. Mrs. Wonderful in particular was there for me. Sending me messages of hope and love. Sharing her story of post-loss life. We've been FB messaging almost daily.

She asked me for my address and I gave it to her. The other day I received a  note too kind to attempt to summarize and a locket with a bird flying over trees etched into the front of it. Blue Sunday has always been a bird to me- needing to fly away from the pain of life, from the tree-top nursery I was planning, away from me. Her note reminded me that our babies are looking over us somewhere, wishing us well- wishing us to go on pain-free as they are able to.

I have always been one to seek out people in similar situations- My military chat board, the pregnancy boards and now loss boards. I under-estimated having a real life connection. I have never met Mrs. Wonderful, though I would love to if the opportunity arises (we live very far apart). But I truly feel I have a friend in a low place. I would never wish anyone down there, but it is a comfort.

I've got friends in low places
where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases 
my blues away and I'll be OK
Garth Brooks, Friends in Low Places