My life is like a loop of de'ja vu, but so far it's been working out in a less awesome way than the first go round.
In 2009, my college hockey team won the National Championship, they lost it in a heartbreaking fashion exactly 6 years later (Saturday).
My follicle scan two years ago today showed 2 mature follicles 22 and 24. My follicle scan today showed one at 20, with a 13mm lining. (I know this sounds ok, but I have done some research which puts me at a 27% chance of pregnancy this cycle- it was 42% cycle one (CP).
And again, same as 2 years ago my favorite work friend Ray is pregnant and totally hiding it. **My guess would be about 14-15 weeks, though it could be a little less- she is a small person. I figured it over a month ago now. She asked me out of the office this morning and I thought she was going to tell me then but didn't. I know she is waiting for me to call her out (which is what I did last time and we laugh over quite often- but I'm not going to. I'm so much saner now?)
It is MUCH less hard this go-round to hear of people who get pregnant quickly and easily. But still, it's been EIGHT months since we started TTC (with 1 month off). My first month EDD was in May- the same month JAM is due with number 2.
I hate being the person no one wants to tell they are pregnant.
Secrets, secrets
They're no fun
Secrets, secrets
Hurt someone
** In case you're wondering, yes, I've changed jobs since 2 years ago. I pulled Ray into my new company.
So odd that she is waiting for you to bring it up. I think some part of me would not say anything at all, and let her get bigger and bigger, and finally say (after the birth): "but I had no idea!"
ReplyDeleteHaha. I wish I could do that- but my big mouth usually gets me before I can manage.
DeleteWhat is the DEAL with people not saying they're pregnant? It's like a contest to NOT tell. It totally stinks to be the last to be let known...and also the last to be pregnant again. I'm sorry. I wish people knew how to say something that's not easy to say without making it weird.
ReplyDeleteI know. Last time this EXACT same thing happened we ended up having a good talk. I do understand why it's awkward, but it's weird to know about a pregnancy and just... not say anything. It doesn't help that I'm very (uncomfortably) open about where I am in treatment.
DeleteSo many hugs to you. So here's some weirdness, my pregnant best friend at work (PBFAW) is named... "Rae" That's where the similarity ends though. She told me she was pregnant when she got the lines on a stick and recently drove me home from my last D&C while she was 11 weeks along. We had some really difficult conversations when I was pregnant and then again when I losing my baby (for many weeks) while she was continuing on with a healthy pregnancy (Thank god). Depending on how close you are, you might want to consider a full-on conversation about what it feels like to be like the person who no one wants to tell they're pregnant. My Rae appreciated my candor when I described the conflicted emotions of being pregnant together and waiting for the day when there would only be one of us.
ReplyDeleteThat's like a spin-off of my "less awesome" deja vu! I'm thinking about a conversation- if only because she has a friend who just had a third failed IVF cycle. Luckily she lives out of town- so my guess is she doesn't know but couldn't know. Which is less bad.
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