Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Everything's Coming Up Roses

I am flooded with wonderful news and happy times.

What a world of difference from where I was 2 years ago or where I was last year! And not just the obvious "I have a baby now", I am mentally so much better off. I know that there is a oft-reinforced mantra in the baby-loss community that a rainbow baby doesn't "fix" you, but it fixed me. Not 100% of course, Blue Sunday will always be my lost baby, and I will always be missing a piece of myself. That will never change, but it can ease, it can morph. I have never felt regretful of terminating, but there was a tiny part of me that questioned if Blue Sunday was my only chance to hold a child of mine. Since I chose a D and E, I wondered if I passed up that moment. When kins was born and I experienced that moment of meeting my child, Blue Sunday was in my mind. I felt a full peace with all the circumstances that were within my control. It will never be ok that Blue Sunday was so sick. It is OK that I chose the procedure I did- I am glad I can have a perfect image of Blue Sunday in my mind.

In non me-centric news, I know of a BFP that I am SO excited about. Wishing that hopeful mom-to-be all the luck in the world.

On Saturday, JAM welcomed their baby into the world- a SON! We're very excited to have babies of the same gender and J and hub are planning on starting a boy scout troop for the little ones (They did scouts together for their entire childhoods). The pregnancy was a nightmare. I superstitiously didn't share much about it. M bled through out the pregnancy, the baby had IGUR, in the weekly NSTs the baby's heart rate would rise up over 200 for no reason. Their OB was very concerned and induced at 37 weeks.  Their little boy is just fine- phew.

Pitchers and catchers have reported- spring must be out there somewhere.

Also, I have this sweet baby- I know I'm biased, but I think he is insanely adorable. Please ignore my crazy voice, the mess in the background and how permissive I am having my dog around my baby:

Gonna have the whole world on the plate!
Starting here, starting now,
honey, everything's coming up roses!

Bette Midler, Everything's Coming Up Roses

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