Thursday, June 27, 2013

Don't Wanna Take Advice From Fools

When I woke up this morning I really didn't know who to believe. I felt like I should be putting my faith in my midwife and not Next Tuesday, but was that wishful thinking? I kept going back and forth on hope and despair.

Down Syndrome would be the best and worst of the positive test outcomes. It is survivable, often. Kid with DS function in society, sometimes. Aside from major structural defects though, you never know how your kid is going to be affected. Grey area. 

I spoke with midwife while I was at work on Tuesday. She had had time to review the scans from the NT scan and said the following:
They took four measures of the NT: the first two were the standard magnification and the other 2 were magnified in such a way that they generally don't read the results from. The normally magnified first two were 1.4 and 1.5 . The magnified two were larger, 2.2 and 2.4 but when she measured the NT herself (which I was on the phone and the image from the scan was on the screen) she got 1.9 on the one that was 2.2. The standard way to give the NT is a average of three measures. Even taking the average of the smallest one and the two largest (the two with non-standard magnification and the larger of the two normally imaged ones) the average is 2.0 not 2.1. Not a big difference, but just shows there was so measurement error here. 

Then she said that there was a processing error for my Panorama. Results should have been processed but they weren't. They were going to rush the results. Should have them by the end of the week.

I almost asked for a CVS. 

Waiting. Tuesday, Wednesday and into Thursday morning. My phone rang while I was in a company meeting with the midwife's name Thursday afternoon. I excused myself and answered it. 

The Panorama results were normal. 

Low risk across the board and 99% accurate. 

Looks like I just might be having a healthy , 46X? Baby after all. 

Hub told me he's getting attached to take two.

All is well- finally.

I Don't Wanna Take Advice From Fools
I'll just figure everything is cool
Until I hear it from you
The Gin Blossoms, Advice from Fools

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The Post in which I Curse- A Lot: NT Scan

Editor's Note: Sorry to those of you with sensitive eyes. As you were warned, I am going to curse... a lot. God owes me several allowances on this point at this point in my opinion.

Gimme an F
Gimme a U
Gimme a C
Gimme a K
What's that spell?
How I feel about my life.

Really, really not how I wanted this post to go today. I feel like I cursed today's scan with this post, and this one, the plan for what this post was going to be, and my generally stupid fucking optimism with this pregnancy.

So I had my NT scan this morning. Hub couldn't come so my mom came in his place. This was totally red flag number one. With Blue Sunday, hub wasn't able to come either, and my mom stepped in in his place then as well. I didn't want her to come because of this, but really didn't want to go alone. Who else would I ask?

(OMG- this day just can't go well. I am typing this while listing to my ipod that seriously has 1,355 songs on it [just looked it up] and of all those damn songs which one comes on? Like Everyone She Knows- AKA the song I listened to on repeat on my EDD. Not awesome memories.

Anyway...The scan itself seemed to be going rather well, the woman doing the scan was really nice, which really helps- as I learned later when I ended up with a doctor who I am going to call Next Tuesday, though I hope to never C her again (if you're catching my drift).The scan room was awesome and had a screen opposite the bed, so I could easily see what was going on in there. Baby was adorable, but uncooperative. Take Two was upside down doing a headstand and bouncing all around on his/ her head! Night and day from Blue Sunday, who face planted into the placenta and hardly moved, even with vigorous abdominal prodding. The Nurse doing the scan sent me to empty my bladder and hopefully make the baby move. She said things looked good and told me that when I got back she would do the neck measurements. After that, Take Two moved and was off his/her head and laying down like a normal baby. As she measured the neck she said "about the same as before". So I knew she had measured it while the baby was in bad position as well, Red flag two. We looked at the spine, brain, heart and limbs everything was pronounced good. 

After the scan, which took over an hour, the tech went to get the doc. We waited for over 20 minutes, in which time I was really freaking out. At one point I said to my mom "I guess this is bad news, I don't think they would leave us so long otherwise". When Next Tuesday finally came in, she gave no introduction at all. I don't even know her name, fortunately for her. She opened with "did you do the Harmony blood test?" I told her I did the Panorama, same type of test different vendor. Then she asked if I had results (no) when I took it (2 weeks ago today) and she told me "They should have them back by now and you really need to get those results. (My midwife) works in the building and I should go right down. The scan was abnormal." Then she said something about how the baby likely has 'just'  DS but it isn't a repeat of last time because T18 doesn't thicken the NT" to which I said "I was told I had high normal NT with that pregnancy" She asked me: "what were the measurements last time?"
Now I am losing my shit, and I tell her the numbers (3.4 by one measurement and 2.9 by another- I don't know who was right). And she is just like "Ok those are elevated. Well chromosomal abnormalities shouldn't be related. You got tested for mutations right"? I nod, but am to upset to actually respond. 

At this point my assumption is that the NT is higher this time than last. You would too, right? I am also Freaking. The. Fuck. Out. I mean, Next Tuesday is essentially diagnosing Down Syndrome just from NT, it must be huge.

So my mom asks her what the number is.. and she says 2.1.


At 12 weeks 4 days, that seems under the 95% percentile. right? Baby was 62mm meaning the 5th-95th percentile range was 1.2- 2.25 ish?

Snijders, Nicolaides from the Book "The 11-14 Weeks Scan"

Anyway, I don't have access to that data on the table, and an losing it, now crying hysterically and Next Tuesday is just telling me to go talk to the midwife about getting the results from Panorama. Eventually she is like "I guess I can call her up here for you, but you need to get out of this room" What an F'ing C-U Next Tuesday. Seriously I wanted to punch her. Still do.

Eventually my midwife comes into the office we were placed in and she opened the door and gave the "What's the problem" look and she asked if I was ok (ummmm NO). So my mom is like "She is losing her mind. Next Tuesday told her the scan was abnormal and mentioned DS and was a jerk" and she was like "OMG! That wasn't how she gave me in information. Sorry she treated you like that" Midwife said she personally thought the numbers were totally normal, there were no markers and without my history she would send me on my way. She only did the Panorama because I "probably have PTSD from last time" (I lol'ed a little here, my academic interest is actually PTSD and I don't believe I am affected- though I can imagine people can be from such and experience). She really worked to calm me down, but I did just leave her a message asking if any information from the scan was loaded into the system- other NT measurements from the scan, nasal bone information or results from the 1st tri blood work. 

I am so lost. I will never get pregnant again (with the possible exception of doing IVF with PGD) if this pregnancy is abnormal. If this baby has DS, hub and I are likely to have a huge fight, since it is unlikely I would terminate if there were no life-threatening defects but I think he would want to.

I just needed this to go smoothly, and got screwed. Or perhaps, it did go smoothly but I got a C-U Next Tuesday for a doc and not a normal person who can do job-necessary things, like deal with emotional women in sensitive situations.

I'll keep you posted....

Monday, June 24, 2013

Holding pattern

This is the 14 day since my Panorama blood draw. I knew it would be this long, but honestly the wait feels endless.  I had been really hoping to get the results on Friday since my 30th birthday and the party celebrating it were this weekend. No such luck. 

Now, of course, everyone knows I'm pregnant. I didn't really want everyone to know before we got the results, or the NT scan, so that we could have some reassurance. Oh well. When I wasn't drinking at the party, couldn't eat any meat and was exhausted at 815, everyone knew. People were very excited for us, but I asked them to keep things calm until at least after tomorrow's NT scan. 

That's right, tomorrow. We're finally almost there. I can't believe I've been pregnant for 3 months, am doing well and finally almost to the point I can know what's going on. I've been mostly calm, trying to stay unattached. It's hard though, especially now when I look like this (12w 4d), for reference, below in pink is me at 17 weeks with Blue Sunday:

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Queen of Wishful Thinking

There is a part of me that is scared writing this post. I am trying to drop my belief in superstition, karma, whatever you'd like to call it. It is hard to be the type who feels the need to make a wish on dropped pennies, wear the same outfit while sitting in the same seat for sporting events, and avoid mention of certain topics while also being the type of person who doesn't believe (bad) things happen for a reason and that a positive outlook doesn't influence anything. I'm a control freak by nature and grasping at the small things I can control makes me feel like I can influence the outcome of, for example, my hub's trip to war, my teams' playoff runs and my baby's chromosomal make-up. But I know they don't. Logic always gets me in the end.

Today I am two days past where I started bleeding with Blue Sunday. I'm not bleeding, still pregnant and feeling nauseous but okay.

I celebrate every difference, thinking it means there will be a different outcome- more magical thinking. I had a small bleed last time, they thought a small separation of the placenta from the uterine wall. They said it was a 50/50 shot I would lose the baby. It's ironic, we over came 50% but 20% got us in the end.

Take Two got me out of serving on a jury today. I have always wanted to be impaneled, but this was a civil case on whether or not to let someone labeled a sexually dangerous person out of the treatment center. Not sure I can be impartial in letting free a man who has a preference for victimizing kids while carrying my own. Fortunately, we had a questionnaire of several pages, one question of which I could honestly answer with "I have a time sensitive prenatal appointment tomorrow" and gave an outline of Blue Sunday and the testing we're doing with Take Two. This truly is the busiest 2 weeks for the testing- free cell DNA, AFP and NT all fall this week. I did get brought in front of the judge, but she let me go on just that one question. I was there from 8-3 just waiting to be called into see her, and it lasted a minute. Now I am enjoying a hot earl gray tea and a big cookie waiting for hub to get out of work. He is conveniently working around the corner from the courthouse. We got to have lunch together today, which was a nice treat.

Take Two gave me quite the scare last night. I tried to find her on the fetal Doppler and got nothing in 20 minutes of searching. I knew I had just had a glass of caffeinated soda and dinner, so I really did think she was just wiggling around in there. Still, it was a mostly sleepless night. First thing this morning I tried again and there she was hummingbird beat thrumming away.

I refuse to give into my blues
That's not how its gonna be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
I don't wanna let you see, no
That you had made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself
I'll get over you I know I will
I'll pretend my ships not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
Because I am the king of wishful thinking
Go West, King of Wishful Thinking

(Have I used this one before? It would have been so perfect in the bad, old days)

I've got to go now, I see three pennies dropped on the patio outside of this cafe, I have a wish that will be perfect for them.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Father's Day and Other Unpleasant Reminders

Today is father's day. This day is not as hard for me as Mother's Day, because I am selfish because I am married to a man who doesn't put much significance on the day. He grew up without his dad, though was very fortunate to have a wonderful grandfather who he lived with and, at age 9, a step-dad joined his life. Both were good role models and love him very much, but as he told me one day, and I have never forgotten, they could never replace having his own father. 

So he we are, a fatherless and childless father on Father's Day. What do I say? On this past mother's Day, when Take Two was just 6 weeks along, hub said "I don't want to curse anything, but I hope today is a good day and I love you". I feel the same way.

Hopefully, this is the last childless father's day for him.

In other news, I was perusing the blogs today and read "Single Dad/ Disabled Daughter" SD is one of my favorite bloggers. I'm not sure if I've mentioned him before, but he is the father of a severely disabled, beautiful daughter. Truly, occasionally he will share a picture of the two of them, and they are so beautiful together, I cry every time. His was a blog I found when in limbo between screening odds and termination, when I was making and then confirming my decision to terminate. His is an honest, heartbreaking account of raising a severely disabled child. She is non-verbal and non-mobile, she needs constant care and nearly constant advocation on her behalf. He loves her, deeply and truly.

Sometimes, reading his blog and those like his, I feel like a voyeur. I call it "lifting the veil", it's a giant game of what-if. What-if I had chosen differently, what-if Blue Sunday had lived. There are no answers, there is no going back, however, I imagine Blue Sunday would have been far more like SD's Pearlsky than the bloggers I read whose kids have DS or hydrocephalus.

This is all a round-about way to say that SD wrote a post for the "What to Expect" website. The post is here, and you really should read it,  he talks about his daughter and his son, both disabled, he talks about the horror of being told your child won't survive, he talks about the life lessons his children have taught him. He talks about his guilt. In these ways, he gets at some of the core commonalities of the end of expecting a "normal" child and stepping into the world of something else. He talks about the lifting of the veil through his own experiences.

Though it is painful to read about experiences of those who have had a healthy pregnancy and/ or child taken from them, I think it is vital to get our experiences out there. There are so many of us who experience something that used to be almost unspeakable.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Another Two Week (ish) Wait

Yesterday I had my first visit with the midwife. She was really nice and I think we'll work well together. She is more strict about the pregnancy rules than I am, but I can say one thing and do another. For example, I sometimes clean the cat boxes, I let her believe that I never do it. I have had cats my whole life, I used to have outdoor cats and now I have only indoor ones, my house does not have vermin. I am comfortable that the cats don't have toxoplasmosis, that I have been exposed prior to pregnancy and that I take proper  precautions in the event that these two suppositions weren't met. This wasn't worth explaining to her. I have done my research and am making the decisions that work for me and my baby. I am not giving up my cats, I have no one at home with me for several weeks every summer (stupid Army) and living with full, stinking boxes would be more dangerous (in my opinion).

Apparently my records hadn't reached their office. There were moments of hilarity- really. The nurse did the usual height, weight, BP, asked my last day of menstruation. She paused briefly, when I told her it was April 2nd. She then asked if this was just a routine appointment. I told her I hoped it would only be routine (haha). She then asked, casually, you're not pregnant or anything, right? Apparently she thought I was a usually new patient for GYN, not OB. Once that was sorted out, I think things made more sense. Then I asked if I could use the bathroom and if I needed to provide a urine sample. She said yes, hooked me up with the cup and a pen and left me to do my business. Which I did.

In the toilet, not the cup.

I was so embarrassed to explain this complete brain fart. I had to though, because she was in the hall, a respectful distance from the door, but was clearly about to go collect the cup. I was still laughing about it when the midwife came in.

She is an NP as well as a midwife, and had a woman she was training with her. So, now I had been laughing, embarrassed and now was caught off-guard by not one by two women- the trainee might not have yet been a woman by the looks of her. She could have passed for 16. It was no wonder that I wasn't quite prepared for the question that came after introductions and congratulations "So, is this your first pregnancy". I wanted to soften it for them a little (I'm finally over shocking people with my loss story- growth!) So I said- "Oh you must not have gotten my records yet." When no light dawned I followed up with "So, sad story". I probably came across as taking the whole things too lightly, though I'm sure my face had fallen one I got to the end of the story. I just didn't want to say "No, I was pregnant in September 2011" and then have the end come as a shock.. it is a shitty thing to be shocked with, you know?

She was able to find the HB with the doppler very quickly. Though I have found it on my own, it was reassuring to hear with a medical witness. I am now, officially, in the "5% chance of not taking home a baby camp". " How little it matters though.

So, getting around to the events of the title, we discussed my genetic testing options. Like my usual GYN, she agrees with Free Cell DNA test along with the NT and screening bloodwork. We did talk over a CVS, but decided against it, though I would have been seen by the best in the area. Their office has only just rolled out the free cell DNA testing and she wasn't sure that it was up and running yet, otherwise I would need to go to the local hospital for the draw. As it turns out, they did have it and I was the first person to have it at the office. So.. now I am in the wait for results.

This is terrible, Sorry, I couldn't figure how to type on the calendar and save...

Day one, and it is agonizing already. The midwife told me a week, the website for the test, Panorama, said 10 working days, but I have seen that people have been waiting much longer who have posted on internet forums. Also, there is a high percentage, comparatively, of people who get no result and have to do a re-draw. I'd prefer the answer to be correct, and in their data they have no errors:


Data presented at 2013 Society of Maternal Fetal Medicine Annual Meeting

Sensitivity* Specificity*
Trisomy 21 47/47
100% (CI: 92.5-100%)
100% (CI: 99.5-100%)
Trisomy 18 15/15
100% (CI: 78.2-100%)
100% (CI: 99.5-100%)
Trisomy 13 7/7
100% (CI: 59.0-100%)
100% (CI: 99.5-100%)
Monosomy 45,X 11/12
92% (CI: 61.5-99.8%)
100% (CI: 99.5-100%)
*We thank Professor Kypros Nicolaides and Dr. Harbinder Brar for providing samples.

And... Go Bruins! 

Waiting and waiting
Waiting and waiting
You got me waiting
Waiting on you

Weezer, Waiting on You

Friday, June 7, 2013

10 Weeks Today: Then and Now

I had a blog when I was pregnant with Blue Sunday. I only ever had a few posts, I never wanted to post when there were scary things going on, and soon everything was scary.  I started the blog the day before I took a tumble down some stairs, which led to a loss in symptoms. I called my OB who had me do a beta, and then another. This was all about 6 weeks. We then had our first scan and saw the baby for the first time. Soon after, I made another post- that post was at 10 weeks exactly, right where I am today. The day after that post, I started bleeding and went in for a scan, Blue Sunday was there, but measuring small. We pushed back the NT to allow for some growth, then we had the high NT scan and I decided to wait until after I got the all clear on the blood tests to write again. I never really wrote again.

It is amazing how different yet similar these pregnancies are. Below are my answers to the pregnancy meme, then and now:

11/3/11-So excited! Double digit weeks down :)
This also means we're 1/4 through with pregnancy. I really can't believe how quickly that went by. I guess I didn't even know I was pregnant until 6 weeks and 3 days ago. We found out on September 19th (though I knew on September 18th, I just didn't test). Chris find 1/4 thought "scary". Not exactly the adjective I was going for. Hopefully he'll get use to the idea of being daddy soon!

6/7/13- So excited! Double digit weeks down :)
This also means we're 1/4 through with pregnancy. I really can't believe how long this is taking or how stressed I am. And to think, I've only suspected I was pregnant for 6 weeks 4 days. I suspected on April 22nd. Chris is so, so excited to be 1/4 of the way through. He really can't wait for this baby to be deemed healthy and born into our lives.

How far along?  
11/3/11- 10 weeks today!
6/7/13- Ditto

Total weight gain/loss:
11/3/11-Last check was -10, I may be up a few again now that I can eat!!
6/7/13- No Change

Maternity clothes?
11/3/11-Not on me, but I did buy a few. Hey! There was a good sale :)
6/7/13- Ditto 

11/3/11-Sooooo tired. I had to miss class on Tuesday because of exhaustion. I have crazy dreams when I do get to sleep.
6/7/13-  Super tired. I go to bed at 9:15

Best moment this week:
11/3/11-Telling a few more of our friends on Saturday.
 6/7/13- I found the heartbeat on doppler on Tuesday! That was really exciting. My OB says this increases our chance of taking home a baby to 95%. I can't get that 5% out of my head.

Have you told family and friends:
11/3/11- The rest of the family will be told after Monday's ultrasound.(Editor's note- this is the line that made me the saddest. That scan SUCKED, more so in retrospect. NT or 2.9/3.5 depending on who measured)
6/7/13- Almost everyone knows at this point. We tell, since we're really open people, and like drinking alcohol.

11/3/11- Not that I can feel. I'll check that the bugger can move it move it on Monday
6/7/13- I saw the baby moving on the u/s last week, so I know it is capable. I'm actually excited about this, I felt movement early with Blue Sunday- about 16 weeks- and he was a very non-active baby. 

Food cravings:
11/3/11-No, but I DO feel like eating again. Yay!!!!
6/7/13- No, I eat when and what I can. The sickness returned with a vengeance after a week or two reprieve last time, so I'm just getting in what I can.

Anything making you queasy or sick:
11/3/11- Toothpaste. Otherwise I'm improving.
6/7/13-All meat :(

Have you started to show yet:
11/3/11- I just look bloated, same as last week. I am getting hard just over my pubic bone :)
6/7/13-This is a major difference actually, my uterus is already up about a half-an-inch below my belly button. I can see and feel a bump, but with my extra weight since last time and the small enlargement- only hub and I can tell. 

Gender prediction?
11/3/11-Still feeling boy.
6/7/13- Thinking pink!!

Happy or Moody most of the time:
11/3/11- I am happy, but I cry randomly. I had a case of road rage Friday. This guy on a stupid headset was trying to take a left across a lane of traffic. He went through the light after the turn arrow had shut off, and blocked my lane of traffic. I was the first car. So I angled my car in front of him and drove until there was no room. He gives me this finger wag "no, no, no" thing and I BLEW UP. I was miming You (pointing at him) suck (hand job, mouth movement) at driving (miming driving) . Then I yelled I hope he died, reconsidered and said someone you love, felt that was still to mean and said I hope your pet died. Then changed that to fish.. Ending with "I hope your favorite fish dies". Then I cried. Awesome.
6/7/13- As my dad would say: I am "nowheres-near" as emotional as I was last time. I am however, scared witless.


I am having a gross day.

Really gross, and I'm going to note it here for all eternity, so if you don't want be be disgusted, skip this one.

I was feeling alright earlier in day, so I had a cheesy, meaty lunch while sitting on couch celebrating the first summer Friday. Summer Fridays are a real treat, since we get out of work at 1pm.

That lunch came back to haunt me during my 430pm nap. I had gotten into my bedtime routine- changed into glasses and jammies and then switched on the fan and bedded down with puck the dog. Then I knew I was going to vomit.

I rush into the bathroom and start vomiting. I vomited a lot. Then the unthinkable happened.

My glasses fell into the toilet bowl full of vomit. Then I had to fish them out, making the vomiting worse.

It was horrible.

Now I am sitting on the couch with a book, a lifetime movie, a bottle of vanilla seltzer and my tainted glasses.

Oh the joys of pregnancy, at least as much indignity as dildo cams and injections.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

NPR : "With advances in prenatal testing, difficult choices arise"

Today, I'm going to talk about this NPR story:

The main interview is with  2 women- one who chose to terminate  and one who chose to carry to term; both had a prenatal diagnosis of Down Syndrome. I think parts of the discussion were skewed, because their children would likely have survived decades if not terminated. Discussions on terminations for medical reasons tend to center on T21, but many women face fatal or nearly always fatal diagnoses, which is different.

The title of the piece was "With advances in prenatal testing, difficult choices arise" One of the points of which was in the age of advanced prenatal testing there are more and more chances to discover an abnormality, leading to choices needing to be made about the child being carried.

This is a strange angle to approach the effect of prenatal testing (PNT) in my mind. Generally, PNT detects: T21, T18, T13, NTD and major structural abnormalities (heart, brain, limbs, kidneys etc). If you're both carriers, they can also test for cystic fibrosis and other inheritable disorders. Many of these are cause for "difficult choices" regardless of when they are discovered. Yes, during the pregnancy it can be a termination decision, but after parents will often contemplate taking life sustaining measures- or not: surgeries, non-surgical interventions, and the signing of DNR documents.

Had we carried to term, we would have refused heroic measures for Blue Sunday- he would not have undergone surgery. Comfort care would have been taken, and that's it. That is still an incredibly difficult choice- and one that is, in my mind, harder than the one I made with Blue Sunday. A child who cannot yet feel pain is easier think about objectively about in comparison  to one who can. To watch that struggle would be mind-bendingly awful.

To me, PNT was a blessing. Had there not been PNT, I still would have had a child with T18. Nothing about looking for it made my child have a chromosomal abnormality. There was a women in my on-line birth club who had a child born with trisomy 18. It was a birth diagnosis and the baby died within a week. I cannot imagine the additional mental anguish of being unprepared for such a diagnosis, losing your child you expected to live, to go home to a waiting nursery.

That was the major point that struck me as I listened to this story. Here is the other:

WALDMAN: in our quest for perfection, I think we have to come to terms with the fact that there is a certain amount of unknowable information in this business of having children. And you have to be willing to embrace the unknowable if you are willing to be a parent.
MCLAUGHLIN: I think that - couldn't have said that better myself. I think that in life, not just in prenatal diagnosis, in life, you know, there is the unknown, and it's an imperfect life. And I would argue that we're all imperfect to some degree and, you know, what does this mean, and would you want to have a perfect life, and what is the quest for perfection? And who decides what makes a life worthwhile? I think that's sort of a bigger question as you look at the ethical issues at these tests expand because right now, it's restarting chromosomal anomalies. But what will it be 10 years from now, 20 years from now? I think that's an important question that people need to ask.

Just in case it matters: Waldman is the mother who chose to terminate, and McLaughlin chose to carry to term. 

Their viewpoint is not one that I share. Though I understand some may see an element of pursuing a 'better child' when you terminate for a defect but it is important to remember that the defect in question isn't height, predisposition to obesity, or even BRAC1 mutation- the defect is life altering and in many cases life threatening or life-ending in an immediate or eminent way. I am sure that there are people who would terminate for some of the traits I mentioned, but there are not many of them. Not even enough to really discuss, in my mind.

I didn't terminate Blue Sunday because he was imperfect- everyone is imperfect. I terminated because my child would suffer and die within minutes or days of birth. My life (and his) was made better because of prenatal testing.  Perfection is a myth- but most people fall in the 'perfectly imperfect' range- that is they are imperfect enough to be human (as opposed to a deity) but not so imperfect that they cannot live.
We aim for perfectly imperfect.

Did anyone else listen to this piece? Thoughts?