Friday, November 28, 2014


I think it goes without saying what I am thankful for this year. I have a wonderful family, my little kins and my hub. They bring joy to every day.

My hair has food in it. I know I look awful, but bub is just so cute!

I am also thankful that I live in Massachusetts. We are gojng back to the RE and once again it was an easy process to get in and get seen. It is covered- by and large. This is an unfortunately uncommon luxury in the US. I have another medically based and thankful, but I'm going to skip it for now. Let's leave it at - being in a healthcare focused state means there are plenty of specialized providers and things happen very quickly when you need one. 

I am always thankful for my wonderful family and friends. I have te best people in my life. 

Finally, I am thankful for the internet. Without it I might have been desperately unstable at several points in my life. Deployment, baby loss, pregnancy. My "invisible friends" (as hub calls them) brought so much comfort. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 24, 2014

Appointments and End Dates

I mentioned in a recent post that my cycle was crazy. I also have mentioned that I am in a wedding in September. These have combined to some baby-making decisions.

I spent a few hours sorting out (new) insurance, referrals (which in the end I didn’t need, though I was initially told I did) and called the RE.

I know that some of you are reading this probably think we're jumping the gun. Here is our reasoning: It took 15 months and clomid last time. We want 3 (hub) or 4 (me) kids.. time is not on our side with that timeline. If after each kid we waited until we were ready and then started trying for 15 months, succeeded and then had a 9 month pregnancy resulting in a live birth- I'd be about 50 when we got to 4. Clearly, that is not an option. On top of that, with my history of troubled pregnancies the more into AMA I have kids, the more likely I am to have things go wrong. Again.

I called the clinic we use (Boston IVF which is FANTASTIC if you’re in the area and are in need of an RE) and spoke with the person who is dedicated to answering “are you the place for me” type calls. We know we like it there, and we know we got great (adorable) results, but I didn’t know if they can see me. As it turns out, once you’re in, you’re in. We don’t have to wait another failed year of TTC. as mentioned above there was a bit of an insurance snafu, so that was a headache, but it was sorted out and I have an appointment a week from Wednesday 12/3. YIKES.

This is just a consult type appointment to set up testing, discuss options and have the doctor tell me what we already know. I need to stop BF before starting Clomid. The woman we called- the one who answers potential patient questions- told me as much. I’m SO torn about it. In the long run, this is the right decision for my family- new baby vs. extended BF. I want kins to have a sibling close in age. I don’t want to be BF kins more than a year or so anyway.. but I’ll miss it. I’ve stopped pumping at work (yay!!!) and kins definitely is cutting back in amount of time and quantity of milk he’s taking for his 2 remaining nursing sessions- morning and night. The night session will be HARD to drop, the morning he is self-weaning away from. With the examination cycle looming, I really need to stop BF sooner rather than later even though it seems like we have time. If nursing kins lingers longer than I am anticipating then I’m ok with that too- in the long run delaying a month or two isn’t the end of the world. He’s only going to be small for a little bit longer. I already miss my baby, I’m going to be losing another piece of his babyhood at the end of BF’ing.

 He's already grown so much!!!

We have no intention of starting Clomid until at least Mid-January and likely February. This wedding has allowed us to take 2 months off from TTC- this cycle and next, giving us a natural break before gearing up again. The way my cycle fell one moth would put the due date two weeks before the wedding and the other two weeks after. I wouldn’t hold off on family building for most people, but the bride is my best friend from college and I am the maid of honor. I am so, so excited and honored. I don’t have a sister, and the maid of honor from my wedding does- so I didn’t think I would get the chance to be the MOH. I love her, and I want her day to be the day of her dreams- and part of that was to have me there and in the wedding. I’m not risking being in labor for it. I have been honest that I might be as far as 34 weeks along and she’s fine with a beach ball being in her wedding ;) Fortunately, it’s on the beach- so I’d fit right in.

So that’s the update.  Exciting, a little sad and technically in a bit of a lull.

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
Taylor Swift, Never Grow Up

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Cycle One..


That isn't even true.. I didn't get to test. Positive OPK on day 17 (so O day 18/19), started on day 28. Why am I surprised?

Monday, November 10, 2014

#MicrobloggingMonday Wonderful Week

My parents are away and we've been juggling our child care. My in-laws watched him for the first week and half. Kins was sick, getting a tooth in, off-schedule and just generally unhappy. I assume he misses my parents and he really isn't used to my in-laws. It was a rough time.

Hub and I took off Wednesday-Tuesday (trough tomorrow) and is has been so fun! He is so, so different than when I was on maternity leave- which was the last time we've spent any significant time hanging around the house with him. He has (much to my relief) started babbling (better late than never!). He stands up, tries to balance without support, plays chase and with all his toys. He is just the best kid ever. I hope we have another :)