Monday, September 28, 2015

#Microblogging Monday Where to Start

The song tells me that one should "Start at the very beginning" and that it is a "very good place to start". This is all well and good, but where oh where is the beginning?

I feel like looking into adoption is like trying to untangle a string of Christmas lights (one not put on one of the handy-dandy light rollers, of course). I am just looking at the lump of wires and bulbs, still haven't even found the plug on one end. I’m just pulling the string at random, not knowing how close to the beginning the section I'm working on is.  

From the few people I have spoken to, (and I have more to contact), I have been sent in a few different directions:

Decide on a country and age range
Talk to a few agencies (but watch of for ones with fees! Or may be they are OK actually…)
Know you're done with the fertility treatments
Think about debt/home study roadblocks/ other skeletons

Ugh. I don't know where to go from here. We have the therapist we see who is an adoptive father- we may ask him.

I wasn't going to add this but just to be fair- one additional egg went on to fertilize- so we have two that were growing at 2pm yesterday. 1 4 cell "perfect" and 1 3 cell with a bit of fragmentation. To keep us all real- last time I had the same PLUS 2 more "perfect" 4 cells and one made it to biopsy. 

Friday, September 25, 2015

IVF #2: Retrieval Day Update

We are spending my post-surgery time researching adoption. 

That's really enough to tell you how it went right?

Of 9 follicles seen on Wednesday, we got 4 eggs. We'll hear tomorrow how many were mature and fertilized. Last cycle it was 10r -->8m -->4 fertilized --> 4 at day 3 --> 1 at day 5. 

Given that, we're accepting that this is a bust. 

I know stranger things have happened, I also know that we have a rather severe egg quality issue and that cycles with few eggs rarely produce pregnancies (38% per the link for my age and number of eggs).  

So we will implant Surya-Scott at our earliest opportunity and in the mean time research adoption- I don't know where to begin. I have 2 IRL contacts for adoption and 1 from the internet.. if anyone here can help- I would greatly appreciate it. 

Monday, September 21, 2015

IVF #2 Day 11

*Continuing to write from the future- how annoying.

So where we last left off, I was at day 7 with one follicle.

I went in Monday morning, Day 11, hoping for the best, but really expecting the worst.

It is encouraging to see that there are now 6 that are measurable, but there is such a huge differential between the largest (18.24 on my WTF Left side and 17.9) and the smallest (just 11.25), with two others also on the smaller side.

When I talked to the nurse today I asked about the size range and she said (I'm paraphrasing) that the are going to sacrifice the bigger ones for the greater good.

So we're *really* working with 4.


Continuing on with meds as was, go back on Wednesday IVF #2 day 13.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

IVF #2 Day 7

Really, really annoyed.

I went in for my first follicle check on Thursday (I'm writing this from the future) and i was hoping for something, though given my poor E2 level on Monday I wasn't hopeful.

There was just 1 measurable follicle (11.16) and "few- 2-4" smaller than 11 on each ovary. That is a best case/ worst case as 9/5.

My estrogen remained a pathetic 358.2. This is more than the 48 hour doubling they hope to see, but I started out so low it doesn't really matter, right?

For fun-sies I looked back at last cycle. I went in on day 6, this time was day 7.

Then: E2= 450.4 11, 9, 10, 10, 8 and 2-4 per side smaller than 11
Now: E2= 358.2 11 and 2-4 per side smaller than 11

Looking back, I'm not too sure if the 2-4 per side smaller than 11 included the very small (but for some reason measured) follicles. They tell me they only measure if they are bigger than 11mm (and that's what the flowsheet indicates as well). I can tell you from working in oncology, lesions that are considered non-measurable for size reasons are 10mm or less. Below that, it is hard to image and make quality estimates of size. I had different ultrasound techs at the appointments, so there could be user differences playing a factor as well.

I am continuing with:
450 Gonal-f
150 menapur

and will add 250 ganarelix Fri/Sat/Sun and go back Monday morning.

Monday, September 14, 2015

IVF#2 Day 4

IVF #2 started 9/11. That start date left me with a feeling of foreboding.  

We are now on IVF #2 Day 4. My doc decided to max out my dosage this month- so I am on:

450 Gonal-f
150 Menapur (2 vials a day)

I have done 3 doses thus far (tonight will be number 4). I did blood work this morning and my estrogen was only 83.7. Last cycle on this day I was at 141.1.

Last time I was told to come back in 3 days, this time I'm not to come back for 4 days. 

I'm assuming that means I'm growing even more slowly than before. 


Thursday, September 10, 2015

Delays Update

OK, IVF posts now (working through a backlog)

I should have updated (as I said I would) after I got a response from the nurse from my e-mail in my last post. I wrote one, lost it, went on vacation and then didn't get around to it. I will try to do this briefly, so I can get to current matters.

Right after I posted, my nurse called back. She listened to me vent- and cry. I explained myself fairly reasonably:

  • I was upset that we had only one blastocyst (and thrilled that it was chromosomally normal). She assured me that her most frequent call with a PGD/PGS cycle is that there are 0 or 1 normal. She agreed though that it was disappointing that there was so few that made it to blast and thought it might be prudent to discuss with my doc.
  • I was disappointed because one of the reasons we did IVF was to create embryoS in the hopes of having TWO more kids. She knew that this was a driver for me and mentioned we should think about leaving our embryo (Surya-Scott- I'll explain later for those of you who don't get it) on ice. I explained that we are (SO) lucky to be doing insurance covered IVF and that I was told I couldn't do another cycle if I had someone frozen. She told me she would confirm but with one, at my age, with my insurance they would cover another round WHAT???? I JUST had this convo with the financial coordinator two weeks before! Sure enough, it's covered, she confirmed a few hours later.
  • I was mad that I had already been waiting 3 weeks for an appointment and now I was being asked to wait 5 more. She apologized, said that that was not how they wanted to operate and that she would work on getting my appointment moved up. Before the end of the day I was confirmed for a 8am appointment on that Friday- 3 days later. That's before my appointment would have been before it was moved! And just for perspective, ALLLLL this time I've kept you waiting for an update and I STILL wouldn't have had my follow-up yet (It would be this Friday)!
So, it was a really good call and I was really happy I made it. She had me stop the pill and then I waited for my Friday appointment.
  • My doc apologized immediately, and said something to the effect of we know this is stressful and we don't want to make excuses, but we had a new assistant and she didn't know how to book appointments and that she was let go. I felt guilty about that, but 8 weeks from retrieval to follow-up isn't acceptable. I apologized back, saying I didn't want to cause trouble.
  • He asked me how I am doing- and he means it. So I told him I was having a rough time. I told him about Baby Flynn and he cried. He is a good man. He is praying for Flynn and his family. I like him extra for that.
  • He agreed we should do another cycle. He wants to max out meds. Though my IF has been unexplained, it is now clear there are egg quality issues- which makes sense given Blue Sunday and our difficulty conceiving/ maintaining a pregnancy. I am not ready to get into my feelings of responsibility for Blue Sunday's condition.
  • He said data suggests that I will enter into DOR sooner than average, and have menopause sooner than average as well.  Boooo
As before, everything is on the table for us. We are committed to another child, we are committed to on more cycle, to transferring Surya-Scott and any other viable embryos from the additional IVF. After that- we don't know- IVF, Donor egg, donor embryo, adoption. Lots to think about.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

First Family of Three Vacation

Whoops. I fell off the face of the earth. Can I write my fun post first?

We took bub kins (kins is what I actually call him little-kins, baby-kins, baddie-kins. SO kins from here on out. Sorry for the switcheroo) on his first vacation! It was FINALLY time for my friends' wedding and we took the week before for our own family vacation. The wedding was down the Cape (Falmouth, Ma) and so was our rental house. We left on a Sunday, an spent the next several days at parks, on carousels and on the beach! My parents came down for one night- which just so happened to be our 9 year wedding anniversary- so hub and I got out for a nice dinner on our own (where we were seated next to a little boy- go figure)*.

Pictures are worth 1000 words right? Here we are- Cape-cation 2015.

carousel (Kins was suspicious of it)

Kins trying to climb down a hole at an AWESOME park at the carousel

If you dig a baby a hole, you can finish one adult beverage before he gets fussy!* actual results may vary

My dad, hub and kins at the water

Pirate ship!
First Friendly's kids meal. Happy ending!

This was on shore at the pirate boat. Too cute

My family on the porch of the house we rented.

On Friday, one of the bridesmaids joined us (she is kins' godmother) and Friday night another joined. Saturday morning hub and kins left to bring the little boy to his grandparents. The last of the bridesmaids joined us when we all went to get our nails done before the rehearsal dinner. 

Then it was all about the wedding! We did the rehearsal, practiced my speech and then the ladies had wedding day morning makeup and hair. Wedding day was PERFECT 80 and sunny.  My friends were beautiful, especially the bride. Here are hub and I on the big day!

*Not complaining, he was cute and well behaved- it was just funny to be psyched to get away from our little boy for a few hours to see another.