Long December, (eventful January)

It's Monday, but not micro:

I can, almost literally, NOT believe the timing of this cycle. I can believe it, I suppose but just. So a few posts ago, I outlined the heavy hitting Januarys that have happened since I have started this blog. Every January was pretty big, this year will be no exception, for one reason or another.

I go for my lining check January 1^st at 7:45.. where else would I want to start my New Year but the fertility clinic?? (the far away one, since it is a holiday. Obviously.) Assuming that all looks good, I call January 4^th for my appointment time and on January 6th go in for transfer (assuming it unthaws, which I am NOT counting on to be honest).

Just to underline this:

January 4^th is the 4 year anniversary of losing Blue Sunday

January 8^th is Kin’s second birthday.

So January 6^th is the middle date between the most important dates of my first 2 kids. And they are all at 2 year intervals.

So far so good with this cycle, I’m on a lot of estrogen- 2 pills a day and a patch I change out every 3^rd day. I’m trying not to think about the cycle itself too much. I feel very out of control about it. I am not gaining weight this time, but I have been working out a lot and staying stable. So annoying.

Anyway, I wish I could just fast-forward this month and either be pregnant or be moving on.

And just for fun, 1 pregnancy announcement over Christmas. A girl I used to baby sit for. She is very open about the fact that her boyfriend is a drug dealer, and that she uses. She had announced just 2 days earlier that she was leaving the boyfriend and taking  her twins to some other state (she was thinking Texas) to start over where it’s less expensive. Now it’s merry Christmas from the 5 of us! Big happy family.

I cried. A lot.

I know that a few more will be coming in the next few months. I’m not sure how this will go for me. Hopefully Surya-Scott will stick and I don’t need to worry about it.