Monday, March 12, 2012

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Muppet Show


How many times has Kermit ruined YOUR day?

Yes, that Kermit. The green frog, in love with Miss Piggy heading up The Muppet Show.

May be "Ruined" is too strong a word, but I did dissolve in a puddle of tears and my runner's high was obliterated.  I was out for a run on an incredibly-nice-for-early-March-in-Boston day yesterday. It was the very first day of daylight savings time so it was still bright sun at about 4 when I left for my run. I was almost home about 35 minutes later in the mandated 5 minute cool down when The Song came on. You know the one, the one about Rainbows and dreaming and disbelief and faith.

Though it has a special meaning now, this had always been a crying song to me. There is something so sad about it that I just can't put into words.  When I was still pregnant and unaware of the 3rd 18th chromosome dooming our baby, I went to see The Muppet Movie- which I loved. The last scene is the singing of The Song, it was already an emotional scene and I had a tear or two in my eyes. Then I heard the opening notes and bawled like a baby. Hub also had a few tears from the ending of the movie, but took the opportunity to laugh at me. He looked over as that opening note played and asked "Really?" as the heaving sobs started. He knows that power that song has over me.

'Rainbow' is the term given to pregnancies and babies born after a loss. Yesterday, when those opening notes  came blaring out of the headphones of my beloved iPhone I wasn't thinking about that movie. I was thinking about Blue Sunday. And about the dream of Blue Sunday's Little. About how some choose to believe that "Rainbows are visions, but only illusions". I don't know if I'm the dreamer- or the disbeliever. May be Little is only an illusion.

So needless to say, I made it back to the house and collapsed crying in bed where Hub was watching woodworking videos (A.K.A .man- porn). I couldn't even talk. All I got out was "The.... Muppet's... song". At least Hub didn't laugh this time.

I'm not linking any lyrics. I'm saving The Song for a baby. I'm going to make it happy someday.

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