Monday, February 13, 2012

Back to Reality (The first period post)

Publishing my back-log over the next few days. This was written 2/6/2012
Well ladies (I know no man is reading this with a title like that) my period is back. I am going to call it AF, even though I LOTHE that term- just for ease.

AF came on Sunday. I had been starting to feel really upset thinking that I would never start my cycles again. It had only been 4 weeks and 4 days, but I was getting hopeless anyway. I was trying to formulate what I would tell myself if it didn't show up by week 5. The time most people seem to start after a medical termination. When I realized I had started I literally yelled "Yes!" and then started to cry. Just one more reminder of little, lost Blue Sunday.

I guess now I don't know how to feel. I am hopeful that this will be a normal cycle. It is, for the most part so far. I am afraid that it won't be, or that I won't ovulate. I am terrified of getting pregnant this cycle and more terrified not to. I don't know how I will handle that pregnancy test or AF. Well, I do- badly. I want a baby, but I am afraid of pregnancy.

Back to Life, Back to Reality
Back to the here and now
Soul II Soul, Back to Life

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