Monday, February 6, 2012

One Month- A Little Bit Stronger

(Written 2/4/2012)

To steal a phrase from a fellow baby-loss mom (Known in future posts as "Mrs. Wonderful")- Le Sigh.

One month. A month ago today I went in for my D&E. I'm happy that we're finally putting some time and distance between myself and the termination. It's been hard to remember the good times of my pregnancy without crying, now I can feel some joy in the excitement I felt. That excitement I will likely never feel again in a pregnancy, so I want to remember it. How could I be so naively excited in another pregnancy after knowing first hand just how awful it can be in the end? That feeling alone will belong to Blue Sunday alone. At least that this something special we shared.

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger
Sara Evans, A Little Bit Stronger

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