NFOPG.
New F*&^ing Office Pregnant Girl.
We were having a Thanksgiving Pot Luck and there she was in
all her profile glory. I thought she was just fat.
Here I am, on Cycle Day 1 listening to her talk about buying
a crib and a stroller. “Oh there is so much to do” Boo-Fucking- Hoo. I had to
leave and am now sitting at my desk hating her, the holidays and myself.
Who have I become? What has this experience caused me to be?
I should be happy for her, instead I want to slap her and ask if she knows her
baby can just die. I know it’s a honeymoon or just after baby, she was just
married in the spring. Isn’t that nice to not struggle over it, for it not to
consume you.
I am bitter and angry and sad. I am sick to death of the
sinking feeling that comes when I start spotting, and sinking lower when the
bleeding really starts. I’m sick of feeling no joy when faced with a pregnancy
that isn’t to one of the BLMs. I can hardly even face Mrs. Wonderful anymore.
8 weeks until the real testing begins. May be I can avoid
being on the sidelines and into the pregnancy game when Mrs. Wonderful gives
birth in February. May be. May be Not.
I know I should move on and try to start again
But I just can't get over her leaving me for him
Then he shook his head and looked down at his ring and said I hate everything
George Strait, I Hate Everything
Oh Miserable Guy in the Song, it could be worse, you still have 2 kids.
I am so sorry you're going through such pain.
ReplyDeleteThanks Amanda.. I think the holidays and lacy of sunlight along with everything else are just getting to me. Can't wait for 2013.
ReplyDelete