Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I Hate My Job


New F*&^ing Office Pregnant Girl.

We were having a Thanksgiving Pot Luck and there she was in all her profile glory. I thought she was just fat.

Here I am, on Cycle Day 1 listening to her talk about buying a crib and a stroller. “Oh there is so much to do” Boo-Fucking- Hoo. I had to leave and am now sitting at my desk hating her, the holidays and myself.

Who have I become? What has this experience caused me to be? I should be happy for her, instead I want to slap her and ask if she knows her baby can just die. I know it’s a honeymoon or just after baby, she was just married in the spring. Isn’t that nice to not struggle over it, for it not to consume you.  

I am bitter and angry and sad. I am sick to death of the sinking feeling that comes when I start spotting, and sinking lower when the bleeding really starts. I’m sick of feeling no joy when faced with a pregnancy that isn’t to one of the BLMs. I can hardly even face Mrs. Wonderful anymore.

8 weeks until the real testing begins. May be I can avoid being on the sidelines and into the pregnancy game when Mrs. Wonderful gives birth in February. May be. May be Not.

I hate my job, I hate my life and if it weren't for my two kids I'd hate my ex-wife
I know I should move on and try to start again
But I just can't get over her leaving me for him
Then he shook his head and looked down at his ring and said I hate everything

George Strait, I Hate Everything

Oh Miserable Guy in the Song, it could be worse, you still have 2 kids.


  1. I am so sorry you're going through such pain.

  2. Thanks Amanda.. I think the holidays and lacy of sunlight along with everything else are just getting to me. Can't wait for 2013.