Wednesday, July 29, 2015

IVF #1 D23 : On The Table

We are going to be waiting for results for Our Only One for some time still. In the mean time, everything is still on the table.

We've talked about doing more IVF rounds (either after a failure or after a delivery). Our insurance will pay for 5 more and however many FETs we have (haha). To that end, I've been reading a lot about fertility boosting diets. There is an episode of Creating a Family on this topic, which has a researcher who did a study on 350 infertile women that showed increasing protein in the diet increased IVF success. We're going to start that ASAP. (it takes 2-3 months to show real gains- since it takes that time to mature the egg). Worth a shot, right?

We have also discussed embryo adoption. This is a strange topic, since there really are 2 schools of thought: one is that embryo adoption needs only required blood tests, an agreement between the donating and receiving families (or between both  and the clinic) the other is that embryo adoption is a real adoption: a home study is required, matching fees apply families discuss backgrounds and in many cases really connect. Usually, clinics do the former (but you usually have to be treating with them) and private embryo adoption agencies do the latter, in general. We are open to both methods.

We talked about traditional kid adoption. This has been on our minds for some time and remains something we are seriously thinking about doing.  I worry about any bad feelings that might stem from having a sibling bio-related to us when he/she is not. This is now in addition to my worries about a trans-racial adoption (the most likely outcome) because of our racist neighborhood. This option includes likely moving- not something we can afford at the moment.

We talked about living as a family of 3 and pouring our love and resources into kins (not that we wouldn't anyway). I am terrified that kins would become spoiled beyond measure. And I want another.

But. But I don't want to take away from mothering him hoping for more. I don't want him to hurt from time, money and energy spent trying for another when I have one in front of me.

I look crazy, but he's so cute!

Everything is on the table.  Nothing is decided.


  1. I can really relate to this post. We went through this and most of these options were on the table, too. It was especially hard after our first IVF post-Joseph didn't work and we had to rethink things. Do we keep going and going until we get that second child? So much money that could have been for Joseph... It is such a hard decision, everything is a gamble and you are looking at odds and probable outcomes, but no guarantees. We just had to go with what felt right, and even so we were never sure we were making the right choice. Keep your options open and the path will unfold as it will. Hopefully it will be a short journey to having the family you are meant to have. I totally get how you feel worried about taking away from bub by spending energy (and tons of money!) trying for another, I felt that guilt too, all last year that I was trying for my second (and it didn't come easily, why would it?) I am rooting for you and hoping you can have a sibling for bub sooner rather than later. I'm sure bub will be fine, whatever the outcome, though. He is so adorable, you guys look so happy!

  2. I read a study that showed that when ivf is done in conjunction with acupuncture that the success rate was very high.

    I'm impressed that your insurance covers so many rounds of ivf. That's awesome.

    Hopefully this little embryo is the one. Incidentally, did you know that with ivf you have a higher chance of the embryo splitting and ending up with identical twins?